and breathe…

so I woke up feeling well rested and ready to take on the day
fed myself breakfast and put on music while I took a bit of me time to improve my appearance
full face of makeup and a cool outfit always put me in a good mood
and ofc I then spent probably too long taking selfies instead of leaving

I had a plan for the day
go to town for shopping
then go do some training sessions for uni

but it soon fell apart
I spent the time shopping trip feeling anxious and stressed and painfully aware of the time
I didn’t have enough time to buy all I wanted or even look properly
I basically speed walked through the shops
all while I could feel my heartbeat, my stomach in knots and hands shaking not from the cold
the usual physical reactions I get when im nervous

no idea what caused it today
there’s lots going on academically and personally
my body is always one step ahead in feeling stress before my mind catches up

after missing a bus and not getting good enough signal for an uber in the busy city of Manchester I decided to bail on my training
(I’m going to the full day sessions tomorrow it was optional which ones I attend)

I was suddenly aware of the loud and busy streets of Manchester and needed to escape

so I called my best friend
I sat outside the art gallery and spent only 15 minutes having a slight rant about it all

and then I decided to go into the gallery for some peace and quiet and thinking space

first floor
new exhibition 
“and breathe…”
a space made to combine art and mindfulness 
something I desperately needed
as someone who believes in fate and signs from the universe it was a good message
I honestly almost cried from relief 

there was very simple pieces in the room and chairs in front encouraging everyone to take a seat and think for a while

I’m no expert to mindfulness nor am I a total novice
so I did as I was told
took my headphones out
bag off
sat in front of the most captivating pieces
and breathed
after 20 minutes I decided to write this as a way to keep my hands busy instead of touching my fingertips which is a new habit I’ve noticed I do when anxious
(also don’t think the 2 coffee helped I had earlier)

sometimes things don’t go to plan
sometimes life is a little chaotic 
or maybe it’s just your mind going haywire on you

but if you can
take a moment
just to yourself
to think or not to think
to focus on something in front of you or close your eyes
be aware of your surroundings or block out the noises
for a few seconds or a few minutes

and breathe…

a piece from the exhibition

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